August 5, 2014

Movie: Godzilla (2014)

Filed under: Hollywood Movies — Tags: , , , — krishnafromtoronto @ 11:29 pm

imagesAfter seeing this movie, I imagine this scene where the director and the producers have a discussion about how to make another installment of the Godzilla movie.


“I think we want to make a Godzilla movie”


“Hasn’t it been done? Twice? Once even as recently as 1998?”


“So? If Spiderman can be done a million times, why can’t Godzilla?”


“OK, but the last time in 1998 the movie had a fairly good story and in fact good special effects, but I don’t think it did that well in the box office. How do you expect that this will succeed?”


“This is where my genius comes in. We do everything the opposite of the previous movie. That way, since that movie failed, this movie has to succeed. Guaranteed!”


“Huh? Come again?”


“Look, I have this brilliant plan. In the other movie, they had actors who really wanted to do their part. In this movie, we are not going to fall into that trap. Let us get actors who look like hunks but are completely wooden and do not know what the hell is going on around them. This is difference number one”


“I am listening”


“We also – get this! – completely remove the story. We create Godzilla and two other monsters who are his mortal enemies. Parasites but the size of tall buildings. Their job is simply to keep chasing Godzilla wherever it goes. Godzilla, of course, has no plans. No one else has any plans to contain it or even fight it except to uselessly shoot at it. He wanders, they wander – all through the movie. Even there, we don’t plan to show the viewers anything at all until half the movie is over. This way we can ensure that this movie is the antithesis of the one that failed in 1998!”


“What crazy plot is this? Have you taken leave of your senses?” says one of the production unit crew and he is immediately evicted. The discussion proceeds.


“The rest of the non-story? We can make it up as we go. Let us go shoot”


They realize, after the movie started, that they have made a terrible mistake. Though they did a brilliant job of assembling wooden actors, they screwed up when it came to the part of Joe Brody, a dedicated scientist, and this guy, Bryan Cranston, seems to be – horrors – acting! What is worse, he seems to be brilliant at it. It runs totally counter to the strategy and the movie is in danger of failing! Post Breaking Bad, no one has the guts to fire Bryan. So they do the next best thing. They kill him off in scene five or so. That problem is now solved and they can get on with their original plan.


The Japanese scientist Ichiro is played by Ken Watanabe seems to have a perpetual expression of wanting to go urgently to the toilet but was prevented by the scientific duties and the need to deliver the dialogs.


There is a needless scene where Ford Brody, the wooden hero and the son of Joe Brody saves a boy who stupidly wanders into an empty train and he seems to show no emotion or sympathy to the boy while he “plays” with him to distract him and saves him.


There are two weird looking things with arms or legs or paws or something that looks like the modern curved athletic prosthetic legs which are Godzilla’s mortal enemies and they seem to go and want to mate – yes, one is a male and the other a female. In addition, they have to cross half the world from Japan to US to mate. Why? Because everything exciting happens in America. This, with Godzilla in hot pursuit, and he, like a jilted lover, interested in preventing their coming together.


They kind of show human like emotions when they fight and with comical appearances, that does not jell at all.


All in all, a wasted effort and in spite of their brilliant strategy, this movie also does not seem to have done well at the box office.


I cannot in all sincerity give it more than a 2/10


  • – Krishna

1 Comment »

  1. Good review Krishna. Though I had a great time with this, I will admit that the characters needed a bit more rounding-out.

    Comment by CMrok93 — August 6, 2014 @ 3:44 am

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